Shabam Shadiq wins tiebreaker over Atomic Bomba for 6th Playoff spot by 20 points. Bomba demands League to Recount yearly points

On Monday evening, Shabam Shadiq owners Dre and Avo popped open bottles of Kotayk beer and celebrated making the AFFL postseason for the first time since 2013, edging out Bomba on total points to nab the 6th seed in the postseason. The win increased sales of their T-shirt "Eat a Diq" by 250% on Tuesday morning.

After beginning the year 0-4, the 'diq, formerly known as Hangin' and Bangin', changed their name and changed their approach in the process. Key pick-ups and stashing a few players for later in the season helped propel the team to a 7-2 record over the final 9 games. Truly an impressive feat.

"Our team works around the clock," explained Dre. "When I'm working on the team, Avo sleeps, when Avo works, I sleep. It's that kind of dedication that has made us successful."

Reporters pointed out that the set-up works out naturally because Avo is in another time zone. Dre ignored the response and walked away with a smile and a wave.

While the team enters as the sixth seed, they are as hot as any team in the AFFL and should not be taken lightly. Even Prime Time owner Ara has taken noticed.

"Those guys are perhaps the guys that are doing the best of the guys that are in the league where other guys don't have the guys these guys have. You know what I mean?"

Most people don't know what he meant, but it was indeed a compliment.

Meanwhile, Atomic Bomba owner Raffi, inspired by Jill Stein's political fad of contesting the election, has demanded a recount of all the points by all teams over the entire year.

"If we want to have a fair and balanced league, then we have to assure our managers that they have all the points truly accounted for. I'm asking for recounts of all teams in weeks 3, 4, 6, 11, eff it, all of em," said Raffi to a group of reporters outside Bomba headquarters in Los angeles.

Frank Samian has already gone on record as shooting down the notion calling it "a lame excuse by a losing franchise" and emphasized that it will not happen. There has been no word from the commissioner's office if an official recount will indeed take place.

AFFL Unveils New Logo for 10 year Anniversary

After months of collaboration with some of the top graphic artists in Los Angeles, the AFFL unveiled a new logo in honor of their 10th anniversary in hopes of branding the league as "dynamic and forward thinking" according to reports.

"Like my ex-wife, we just felt the league needed a face lift," said Frank Samian, head of AFFL operations. "Unlike my ex-wife, we got one."

Designed by master graphic artist and co-manager of Hartan, Harout Keuroghlian, the new logo features a slick new chrome look with dark, bold colors. Gone is the silhouette of a quarterback at the logo's center, replaced by a spiraling football heading somewhere toward outer-space. The moving football is said to represent the leagues dynamism and movement toward the future. 

Some of the pieces of the old logo did remain, such as the twelve stars representing the league's twelve teams, and the colors of the Armenian flag in the background that embraces the league's culture.

The logo has gotten rave reviews from fans and managers alike, many of whom thought a change in design was overdue. BDiddy owner Baret emphasized this point in comments made early Monday morning.

"The last logo wasn't this league. It looked elementary school bro. What was that? Today we graduated College. I'm very happy"

Grabbers United owner Sassoon was pleased with the design, but had hoped that the logo would have had icons of all the teams in it, rather than stars.

"I think if the league represents the teams, then we should have our team icons on that thing. You know. A bomba here. Some Jaj there. A cobra. A few ass cheeks. Everyone represented."

The logo has already been updated on the leagues Facebook page and will soon be available on shirts sold at the AFFL store. If the initial reaction is any indication, these shirts should sell quickly.

Prime Time makes AFFL History: Drafts from Delivery room during birth of Daughter.

"In the 17th round of the 2016 AFFL Draft, Prime Time selects... Datev Malikian."

Monday evening. 730pm. Burbank, California - Eleven managers are huddled around a long conference table that is littered with Doritos, donuts and half drunk beers. Wires from laptops snake across the wooden tabletop feeding into a multi-plug outlet in the center giving life to a network of statistics and data used by managers to feverishly plot their upcoming picks. In the background, a woman's voice belts out a beautiful rendition of an Armenian song, cutting through the nervous anticipation that fills the air at the moment. Everyone sits in wait, idealizing the team they are about to birth to.

Monday evening. 8pm. Orange County, California -  One manager sits in a chair, on the phone with his cousin back in Burbank. He is in nervous anticipation over the team he is about to draft, an AFFL team that he hopes will bring home his first championship. Texting away on his phone, Ara Malikian sends instructions to his cousin as to the plan for the draft. In nervous anticipation, he sits down to calm his nerves. However, his AFFL team isn't the only thing on his mind. Across from him is his wife, about to give birth to their new born daughter.  It would be the first time that a manager has drafted a team, and drafted an offspring on the same evening. Leave it up to Prime Time to make that come true.

Below is a timeline of the events that transpired that evening.

8:15pm. Burbank, Ca - Commissioner Lalazarian is notified by Ara's cousin that he is putting in motion to impeach the commissioner again, for the 10th consecutive year. Impeachment was noted, and everyone moved on.

830pm. Burbank, Ca - The draft kicks off, with Vosgereechee Gyank selecting Antonio Brown, a sure fire #1 pick, and the right choice. The pick is entered, and the managers shift uneasily as the look at Prime Time's representative and his pick. He is on the phone with Ara.

831 pm. Orange County, Ca - Prime time utters the words Julio Jones over the phone while assuring to his wife that this would be the "last phone call he would take" and tonight would be "all about her."

845pm. Orange County, Ca - Prime Time excuses himself to the restroom, where his second selection of Alshon Jeffery is made. Once the pick is in, he sprints back to the labor room.

925 pm. Burbank, Ca - Magnum Sev.i spends 5 minutes trying to select players that have already been picked. The draft comes to a stop for a brief minute to explain to the team that players can only be taken once. 

930pm. Orange County, Ca - Taleen, Ara's wife, is thirsty, so Ara dashes out the door to get her a bottle of water, giving him time to call in picks for both Emmanual Sanders and Jordan Matthews.

1015pm. Burbank, Ca - Managers take a break at the end of round 7. Nobody tells Ara so he can panic a little longer.

10:16pm. Orange County,  Ca - Ara loses service in the hospital and attempts to go online through the hospital's wifi. Fortunately, he gets service back in time or else he may have had a baby.

1025. Orange County, Ca - Ara tells Taleen that he's gonna talk to his "Cousin" and subsequently drafts Kirk Cousin's as his QB via text.

11pm Burbank, Ca - The draft concludes with the drafting of Prater. Nobody tells Ara so he can panic just a little longer.

355am Orange County, Ca - The good Lord makes a selection for Prime time, delivering a healthy little girl into his arms. By far, the best draft pick of the night.

Congrats to the Malikian Family on their new child. Wish you all the best.

Top 6 AFFL teams Ranked by Keepers

They say the early bird gets the worm. In the case of fantasy football, sometimes that worm came out a year early.

Each new league year, AFFL teams are allowed to keep two players from last season's roster in exchange for draft picks in various rounds for the upcoming year.  Planning ahead, managers could have a significant advantage over the field if they chose the players whom have high upside and cost low draft picks. Having a keeper in the 5th round that is actually worth a 1st round grade like David Johnson (applause for HBK) is the makings of an indestructible team on paper.

Of course, there is no guarantee that any player kept will pan out, and many times there have been players who looked to be of great value on paper (Zac Stacy, Joseph Randle) who weren't even worth their weight in salt.

That said, this years AFFL keeper deadline brought about some interesting decisions and created a few "super cores" that will be difficult for managers around the league to overcome.

Below are the top 5 teams ranked by their keepers, their relative draft cost, and the player itself. (sorry Cobra Kai and Jaj Cousteau, no keepers means you weren't included.)

6. BDiddy

Keepers: Tom Brady (7th) Amari Cooper (3rd)

Draft pick spot: 4 of 12

Possible four: Brady, Cooper, Elliot, Cj Anderson

The Diddy did the right thing last season, salvaging a poor 2015 by drafting Amari Cooper and trading for Tom Brady. At the time, there was significant risk with taking Cooper in the 4th round, a rookie on a team with a young erratic quarterback. A year later, the move has paid off, giving Diddy a top 24 player for a late 3rd round price. Add to that a late season trade for Tom Brady who will cost a mere 7th round pick, and B meister begins the season with a strong QB/WR tandem. They had the option to keep Brandon Cooks for a 2nd round pick (at 15th overall) but opted instead to wait out Brady's suspension.

Armed with two early round picks before giving up their 3rd for Cooper, Diddy is in position to draft a solid RB/WR or double up on RB's. Adding an Ezekiel Elliot and Cj Anderson for example will give the squad a solid core to build off in the later rounds.

5. Awesomeness

Keepers: AP (1st) Deandre Hopkins (3rd)

Draft pick spot: 10 of 12

Possible four: AP, Hopkins, Aaron Rodgers, Arian Foster

Awesomeness wound up finishing 3rd last season and himself entering the 2016 season comfortably with two top tier players in AP and Hopkins. Adrian Peterson may be advanced in age, but he has hardly slowed down in his production. Still a true workhorse RB1, AP is a good, not great value at the 10th overall pick. Where Awesomeness really did well is keeping Hopkins for a 3rd rounder. A top 5 overall talent, Hopkins has the potential to end up the years best WR. Getting him in the 3rd is exceptional.

With two players at the key positions locked down, the Awesome one has the ability to go against the grain if he so chooses and solidify top talent at other positions. Nabbing Rodgers in the 2nd round (or Wilson) along with an upside but risky RB like Foster later in the 4th would give Awesomeness a strong start to building a very formidable roster.

4. Grabbers United

Keepers: Cam Newton (7th) Brandon Marshall (4th)

Draft pick spot: 9 of 12

Possible four: Cam Newton, Brandon Marshall, Jamaal Charles, Carlos Hyde

We must give it up to Grabbers. He's done a masterful job the last few years being calculating in what he does. The proof is in the keepers. The projected number 1 QB for a 7th round pick is exceptional value. Marshall is also a top 15 player that merely costs a 4th round pick. Well done. With these two players and 3 picks available before having to sit out in the early rounds, Grabbers has the makings of a championship contender. 

With a first round pick still open, Grabbers can go in many directions, but the keeper selections say he'll go RB. Jamaal Charles carries some risk, but there is much reward in getting him that late. Carlos Hyde can also be nabbed in the 2nd round to form a strong RB core and compliment the two keepers nicely.

3. Atomic Bomba

Keepers: Devonta Freeman (6th) Jordy Nelson (8th)

Draft pick spot: 8 of 12

Possible Four: Dez Bryant, Jordy Nelson, Devonta Freeman, Doug Baldiwin

With two top 20 players kept in the 6th and 8th rounds, the Bomba enters the 2016 season with an exceptional start. Freeman finished last season as the RB1 overall, and while the numbers may drop off in the upcoming year, there is little doubt that he should out play his 6th round tag barring health. With his pass catching ability, Freeman offers a safe bet for a high floor, giving the Bomba plenty of room to be risky.

Nelson is a question mark coming off an injury plagued 2015 season. However, should he return to his 2014 form where he caught over 90 balls and scored 13 tds, the 8th round value may be the best in the league.

With 5 early round picks, the Atomic one can elect to go WR/RB or any position of his choosing. A WR like Dez wouldn't be bad at all, and electing to grab an upside WR1 like Baldwin in the 2nd would give the squad a great core of talent and value.

2. Hartan

Keepers: Todd Gurley (3rd), Odell Beckham (4th)

Draft pick spot: 12 of 12

Possible Four: Gurley, Charles, Beckham Jr, Luck

Sometimes life is not fair. I bring you the Hartan. Last years champs enter the 2016 season with two top 5 players AND their two first picks still intact. Wow. Taking a huge risk in drafting Gurley last season as their number 2 RB despite the injury concern, Hartan has the Rams stud at a 3rd round value this year. That is an amazing pull. Couple that with the second season of keeping Odell Beckham with a 4th round price tag, and this team is the preseason prohibitive favorite to repeat as champion. 

With Gurley and ODBJ locked down, Hartan can grab the best player available at any position. If draft history is any guide, he will like to grab a top tier Rb along with a top QB. Jamaal Charles and Gurley would make a fine tandem, and Andrew Luck would give the team a top scoring QB that should finish the year in the top 6. Things are looking bright for the "tahn."

1. HBK Shant Michaels

Keepers: David Johnson (5th) Matt Jones (8th)

Draft pick spot: 6 of 12

Possible Four: David Johnson, Matt Jones, Aj Green, Eddie Lacy

Heading into Monday's draft, no team has a better set up than HBK when it comes to keepers. David Johnson is the consensus #1 RB and at a 5th round price tag, the best player to value bargain in the league. Matt Jones carries much upside going into the 2016 season and despite a slight nick-up in his first preseason action on Friday, he has the potential of RB1. Many questioned the Jones keeper selection, and HBK may have been a victim of his own loyalty to the Redskin Rb being that he kept him all last year for this purpose. Lamar Miller could have been had for a 3rd round pick and may have been the better choice. None-the-less, Jones should out perform his 8th round value barring health

Drafting from the 6th spot in the draft order gives HBK the chance to nab a few high quality players. Aj Green would give the team the WR1 they need to go along with DJ, and should Lacy be there in the second, we think that HBK will cover his butt at the 2nd RB position and take him. If that happens, that would be a great start for the famed Michaels.

Gurley to Hartan: "I want to Sweep the Leg." Demands Trade to Cobra Kai

Looks like Todd Gurley is no fan of Mr. Miyagi. 

After leading team Hartan to the AFFL title in 2015, Gurley asked Monday to be traded to Cobra kai, a move that has caught the champs off guard. 

"We really don't know where this is coming from," said Vartan. "I think he was just watching Karate kid and had a moment of nostalgia. We're not planning on trading him. "

Hartan typically doesn't address player trades in public, and it would be surprising if a move of this type were made on or before AFFL draft day. Still, if their star player is unhappy in his current "dojo," the chances of a back-to-back title.

Gurley, the 2015 third round pick, is the foundation of team Hartan, along with Odell Beckham Jr, forming a very deadly WR/RB combo. He is a highly coveted player,on that any manager would want to have on their team, and nobody has been pressing the issue like Cobra Kai owner Sayyad. He's been in Hartan's ear since tax season, preparing a "Godfather" type trade offer that only the "dumb would refuse." It seems that Sayyad has found a way to reach Gurley.

Sources claim that Sayyad had dinner with Gurley early last week at Carousel restaurant. Restaurant patrons that night remembered Gurley being given multiple helpings of dolma, fatoush salad and plenty of"tahn" to drink. Sources also claim that Sayyad presented Gurley with Cobra Kai themed backgammon set and bottle of cognac from Armenia.

"Leave nothing past Cobra," said one AFFL manager who wished to remain anonymous, "he has the ability to make impossible trades happen, like my partner Avo does."

Still the question remains, if Gurley were indeed traded to Cobra Kai, what could he offer? Cobra's keepers are caca, and unless he plans on completely mortgaging his draft, we don't see how Jay ajayi and any combination of picks could be satisfying.

Despite that, a picture released by Cobra kai on early Tuesday morning showed just how confident that Gurley will be on the team. Dressing up the smallest co-manager in the league in Gurley gear, Sayyad put the "cart before the horse,"  doubling down on a future trade. Bold.

The picture caught the attention of Harout who wasn't pleased.

"It was cute. I hope he bought little tiny kiddie cleats too. When it comes to joke moves by joke managers, Sayyad is the head of the class. The only way he can have Gurley on his team is photo shopping his picture into his joke logo."

Sayyad was unavailable for comment, but released a statement stating that he intends to show "no mercy" in trade negotiations this week, and "if you think Gurley won't be on my team this year, siktir."

Siktir indeed. We'll see just who will be siktiring in the weeks ahead.