AFFL Star Wars Edition: What If AFFL Teams Were Star Wars Characters..

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Star Wars doesn't come out for a few months, but that didn't stop the AFFL Courier from wondering what these teams would be called if they were Star Wars characters. The writers had a blast free-balling ideas about name tweaks to current AFFL teams. This wasn't just about changing a name that was close to a Star Wars characters, this was about capturing the essence of the AFFL squad if it were in the Star Wars universe. A tough task indeed.

While the list is plentiful of names that we feel are right on point with what the team is about, there were a few that didn't make the list.

• The Gyank Rebo Band
• Cobra Qui-gon
• Primeporer Palpatime
• Jajme Amidala
• Princess Lala
• BDidooku
• Har Solo
• Jajwa

Without further ado, we present the AFFL Star Wars edition. (in Alpha order)

Awesomeness - Owner David

Star Wars Character Name:

Lala Calrissian

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Quick, who first uttered the famous phrase "Here goes nothing?" That's right, Awesomeness during the 2008 draft when he took 3 Atlanta falcons. Lando's famous line embodies all that Awesomeness is. Unprepared for drafts. Unfamiliar with rookies. I mean how many times has he uttered "who" during a draft. But in true Billy Dee Williams form, David doesn't waiver. He stays cool and calm even when his team is falling apart. That's Calrissian. A former gambler turned rebel General, the two can mutually say they have shared success. Lando dropped bombs into the death star in the third Jedi film. Likewise, Awesomeness won two titles. Both happened a long time ago, and they've both been insignificant since. Man the similarities are eerie.

Atomic Bomba - Owner Raffi

Star Wars Character Name:

Bomba Fett

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3 Titles. Numerous top 2 finishes. Like the fearless bounty hunter from the Star Wars movies, this team has reaped many rewards from his scouring across AFFL land. Fett is just a bad ass, a cool costume wearing outlaw that doesn't take crap from anyone, not even Darth Vader. We've seen this fearlessness in the Bomba on numerous occasions, for example, when he drafted three falcons to win him a title, or Elliot this year banking on the suspension being delayed. Star Wars fans gravitate to Boba because of his cool costume, and let's just face it, being the bomba in the AFFL is cool. At the end of return of the Jedi, Boba Fett is eatin like a pit monster. That doesn't fit into this narative, but we believe it should be noted. Damn, maybe that's why Bomba hasn't won a title in 5 years. He's still cool though. We swear.

BDiddy - Owners Baret, Mike, Tiggy

Star Wars Character Name:

BWoks

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Yes, those cute, cuddly, confused little guys. The lone trans-manager team in the AFFL is made up of three managers. In essence, three managers would be 1/3 the size of one full manager. This compares proportionally to the actual size of an Ewok, giving BDiddy a very deep metaphorical, physical connection. Like their little teddy bear Star Wars characters, BDiddy does everything in a group. One person tells the other person, who tells the other person what each of the other two is thinking. This group think is important to their survival, and Ewoks work in groups too. They huddle to tell stories, and fight with a tribal mentality. But they are hardly vicious, and basically poke and throw rocks. That about summarizes BDiddy's smack talk skills. Harmless. But can't you just imagine Bwok Tiggy swinging a rope with rocks around his head and having it wrap around his throat, knocking him in the head and to the floor. Oh it's just priceless. Or Baret accidentally catapulting Mikey into a canopy of trees? Please, someone make these GIFs now.

Cobra Kai - Owner Sayyad

Star Wars Character Name:

Yobra

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If you want words of wisdom that don't make much sense, you listen to Yoda. In the AFFL chatroom, that honor belongs to Cobra. With a mix of Armenian and Eastern philosophy, a dolma meets the dumpling if you will, Cobra has rocked the earlobes of managers with witty phrases for years. For example, just this week, in his response to HBK picking up LeVeon Bell's handcuff, Cobra responded "Or let others waste their picks doing so. You'll drop him before the week is over." There are no more picks to waste, this isn't a draft. We don't know what cobra means, but its fun. More importantly, the Yobra is all about mind manipulation. For years, the AFFL Jedi master has convinced managers to pull off lopsided trades in his favor. Everyone knows this, yet it still happens. "Help you I can?" Yeah right. More like "Trade rape you I can. Yes." This little green bastard gives every bad guy the red ass in the Star Wars trilogy. The same can be said of Cobra kai. Cobra has one title but has since faded away. Fitting since that's the way Yoda went out. Here's to cultural connections.

Grabbers United - Owner Sassoon

Star Wars Character Name:

Admiral Grabckar

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"It's a trap!" You can just hear Sassoon yelling that to his kids after examining a trade offer from Bomba. Who doesn't like Admiral Akbar? Nobody. Everyone loves Grabbers, the diplomatic, very fair, AFFL manager who just gets a bad beat. However, Grabbers has managed to navigate the AFFL waters twice to make it to the Finals. Like Akbar's face, some seasons have been ugly, but this fish knows how to swim, and swim to the finals he has. Even the facts about Ackbar just sound like they are about Grabbers. For example, Ackbar dedicated his love to the resistance-at the expense of his own legacy. They share humbleness and humility. Also, the pronunciation of Ackbar's name led to some controversy. I think that correlation speaks for itself. How many gay porn searchers have lead men to the Grabbers United team page? I rest my case.

Hartan - Owner Harout, Vartan

Star Wars Character Name:

HaRTusKAN Raiders

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The irony is that the tuskan raiders of star wars have metal mouths that are closed, but in the AFFL, Hartan won't shut up. The amount of crap they talk equates to the screams and yells you hear from the Sand People in star wars. They are violent and have a unique way of communicating, kind of like Hartan during the AFFL draft. You don't understand them, but it doesn't matter, as longas they understand themselves. We also have to equate this team with the raiders because, well, for many years they sucked, until they finally got good. Just like the Raiders. Being Armenian, we had to put somebody in the dessert to pay homage to all the armos living in the middle east, and Hartan is reppin' that. The Tuskan Raiders pretty much attack everyone in Starwars, and that holds true for the pair in the AFFL. Unfortunately for the league, their smack talk is as dry and stale as the cracked earth they Tuskan live on. Oh Snap, look out for one of them to hold up their prongs in a menacing way. I call Harout is the first one. Mid-afternoon. Any takers.

HBK Shant Michaels - Owner Shant

Star Wars Character Name:
 

Luhbk Shantwalker

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Raised at an early age on the desert plans of the old AFFL, Luhbk Shantwalker learned the ways of the AFFL force under the tutelage of Bomba Wan-Kanobi. He then went on his own, but was not ready to become a true Jedi. For years he trained, until he finally was strong enough to make it to he AFFL finals, facing off against Darth Vosgee. They fought hard, but ultimately Luhbk Shantwalker would crumble at the hands of Dallas death Star. The battle continued into 2017 where in their continued fight, Luhbk would lose the right hand of his strongest player, and now hangs by his for dear life, near the edge of oblivion. And just as it can't get worse, Darth Vosgee offers Luhbk a chance to join him on the darkside, by offering a trade for his handcuff. At that moment Shant realizes that Vosgee is HBK's Fantasy Daddy.... Nooooooooooo! Luhbk then free falls into Buck Allen and James Conner. To be continued.

Jaj Cousteau - Owner Chris

Star Wars Character Name:

Jaj Jaj Binks

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This one is almost too good because it's double the Jaj. The tall lanky clumsy star wars character almost sounds like he is Jajing when he talks. Nothing is closer to Cousteau than this. Whenever he introduces himself with the line "Meesa Jar Jar," he might as well be saying "Meeso horny."  Whether it's by his wide-eyed over-reactions or his tongue hanging out of his mouth, it's like he lets us know that he just Jaj'd. Binks has also been banished to the basement of the Star Wars universe after his debut in Phantom menace. Like his Star Wars doppelganger, Cousteau has been relegated to the basement of the AFFL for the past few years, and things aren't exactly looking up this year. Lastly, I leave you with these quotes by Binks from the Phantom menace. They practically scream Jaj, especially the last one, which could be Jar jar's version of the word Jaj.

1. "Dis is nutsen."
2. “Ay-yee-yee! Wha! Was’n dat. Hey, wait! Oh, mooie-mooie! I love you!” 
3. “Ex-queeze-me.”
4. “I spake!”

Magnum Sev.i - Owner Sevag and Danny

Star Wars Character Name:

Magnum Chew.i

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The hairiness just captures the imagination with this one. We can picture it now, Magnum carrying Danny on his back through the desert. It just fits perfectly. Chewbacca is a wookie, and despite 8 seasons in the AFFL, the way Sevag and Danny have managed their team, you'd think they are still wookie's too. They don't really say much on the AFFL chat, merely little small sound bytes, like the groan of Chewy when he doesn't like something. Physically, Sevag is a big guy, and we firmly believe that if he dedicated himself to the cause, he has enough Armenian genetics to fully transform into the hairy Star Wars character. Many aren't aware that Chewy rocks a stache' as well, and for all intents and purposes could be Armenian.  It just works on so many levels.

Prime Time - Owner Ara

Star Wars Character Name:

Ara the Hutt

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There couldn't have been any other choice. The manager that annoys the heck out of everyone is just as annoying as the oversized beast of Star Wars fame. Jabba is a gangster and crime lord with huge ties to slavery, kind of like when Prime Time tries to nab everyone's back-up RB and hold them hostage. Heck, Jabba even handcuffed Princesses Leia, so he'd fall in love with all the handcuff's on Prime Time's roster. Like Jabba, Prime Time is really integrated into the Politics of the AFFL. His aberration of bi and trans managers would echo Jabba's very conservative political views. Both try to work the political systems of their respective universes, with an emphasis on treaties and paper documents to help establish clause. It's quite striking really. And of course, nobody really understands a word that is being said when both speak. Subtitles are extremely helpful.

Shabam Shadiq - Owner Dre and Avo

Star Wars Character Name:

R2-Diq2 and Sha3PO

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So there are two of them right? The best of friends. And when one goes wondering off, the other is often confused and chases after him. It's like Dre staggering after Avo at the draft, "Wait, wait, where are you going? The bastarma can wait... oh fine." It's the blind leading the blind. And they've been doing it for years, just like their Gold and Silver tin character's from the Star Wars series. C3PO is a knowledgeable multi-linguistic robot, but full of worry and fear.  R2D2 is more the squeaky, whine, yet courageous of the two. Nothing could be dead on about Shabam and Shadiq. They have a full fledged fear and worry of injury since 2009, and even though Avo talks a big game, it's mostly just beeps and sound effects. Shabam has been redone and remade like the reinvented R2D2 through the series. Ending up on the scrap heap has been a theme for Shabam. We don't doubt that this season things will end with the Diq2 and Sha3PO walking off into the sunset blaming each other for the others mistakes. Ah, nostalgia.

Vosgereechee Gyank - Owner Mardig

Star Wars Character name:

Darth Vosgee

From the HBK storyline, we can see clearly why the Vosgee is Darth Vosgee. After last season, he is Luhbk's Daddy. He harnessed the power of the Dallas Death Star (bailey) and used it to defeat Shantwalker. But going deeper we see a lot of ties to the Gyank and Vadar. Both have only won once (Empire Strikes Back for Vadar, and last season for Vosgee). Both have really cool looks, (Vosgee logo are brass knuckle). Both work with machines. And there are so many times when you have played the Vosgee or seen his team after the draft and said, "Damn, the team looks legit" like the look of a cool, cruel Vadar.  But remove the facade and its ugly. It's all ugly. There is nothing good under the surface. Everything is just a front to keep a dying roster alive. Like Vadar. The only thing we wish is that Vadar would be gold so it would correlate perfectly to the Golden Pen theme. Alas, we can't have everything. How many Vosgee trades have revealed the Darkside of the league? We rest our case.

Money Well Spent?: Affl Auction Draft Best and Worst Buys

3 hours and 17 minutes of shouting out numbers and raising pencils with logos on them. Oh how fun it was. And after $2400 spent by 12 managers, the first ever AFFL auction draft ended with some distinct winners and losers. Being this was the first auction draft for many managers, there was inevitably going to be some growing pains.  Many anticipated that managers would blow their cash early, overspending on the excitement of the new format. That seemed to be the case as the draft opened with a bidding frenzy on some of the top players. Being that this was also a keeper league, the spending frenzy was understandable as many of the top players at various positions were not available to be drafted. This left the lone Tier 1 guys as primary targets for teams that lacked keepers or had money to blow.

Going into the draft a few teams had a leg up on everyone else due to their great keeper situations. Prime Time had Demarco Murray and Jordan Howard for a combined $37. Shabam Shadiq got McCoy and Crowell for a combined $64. BDiddy had Gordon and Cooper for $59. These teams were already ahead of the game in terms of players and value and could bolster an already strong core.

The two teams with the best situations were the Atomic Bomba and last years 2nd place finisher HBK Shant Michaels. The Bomba had Freeman and Jordy Nelson for $37 , while HBK boasted the leagues best duo with David Johnson and Mike Thomas for a combined $37. Managers were keen to keep an eye on what the Bomba and HBK were doing and it seemed the league was trying to make sure that neither got out of the draft with top talent, and if they did, they'd have to pay for it. However, the Bomba and HBK were savvy, and held their cash for bargains in the mid rounds. It was interesting to watch it all unfold.

But alas, after all the budgets were tallied, there were many managers who made purchases I'm sure they now regret. In hindsight, paying up for WRs early in the draft created lots of value in the later rounds, where managers who were wise to hold onto cash pounced. And no draft would be truly complete without a review of the purchases.

Below we are 5 of the best and 5 of the worst buys of the draft, along with some honorable mentions. Lets see who spent wisely and who was out there like a woman with their husbands credit card. (In order by purchase price)

Best Buys

Ezekiel Elliot $42 - Atomic Bomba

Going into the draft there were only two top tier Rbs available: Leveon Bell and Ezekiel Elliot. Leveon was part of an $80 bidding frenzy, one the Bomba could have afforded considering his value with his keepers. However, the Atomic one opted to gamble at the prospects of getting Elliot on the cheap. Many were scared off at the idea of being without Elliot for 7 weeks, and seemed uninterested in paying up for a player that would only give them 6 weeks of game play. However, as things stand today, there is a good chance that Elliot will be on the field or have his suspension reduced. There are also reports of Elliot's suspension being postponed a year a la Tom Brady. With the chance he indeed plays most of the season, $42 for a top 5 player is a great buy.

Doug Baldwin $35 - Cobra Kai

Doug Baldwin is always undervalued when it comes to the WR position. Not the sexiest name in the bunch, Baldwin is still a top 10 WR most weeks, and getting him at $35 is a steal for Cobra Kai. Ty Hilton, Alshon Jeffery, Deandre Hopkins and Devonte Adams all were purchased at higher price points, yet Baldwin offers just as much if not more upside than those players. In total, 11 WRs were more expensive than Baldwin. That's ludicrous. As Russell Wilson's primary target, Baldwin is in line for a huge year and has every bit a chance to repeat his 94 catch 1150 yard 7 td campaign of last season. Granted, Cobra really had no choice but to target some lower tier Wrs after spending a fortune on LeVeon and Gronk, but getting Baldwin at a discount is going to pay off big time.

Travis Kelce $24 - Shabam Shadiq

Greg Olsen went for $28, so forgive us for liking Baby Gronk at $24. Kelce is rated on the same tier as Gronk, and has every bit the chance of finishing as the #1 overall TE at years end. Had the league known that Kelce would go for $11 less than Gronk, I'm pretty sure that many would have planned to bid Kelce up. But as it was, Kelce was nominated during the perfect time and Shadiq was all over it. Good job by Shadiq on getting the 2nd best TE in the game at a solid price.

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Devonte Parker $16 - HBK Shant Michaels

Normally, spending up for a WR that is on a team with Jay Cutler isn't a great idea, but we're willing to make an exception with Parker. Devonte is coming with a lot of hype this season, but the hype carries with it WR1 upside. Claimed to be the new "Alshon Jeffery" in Miami, HBK went all in, getting Parker at a fair WR2/3 price. He may not return numbers worthy of others going at that price range, ie. Golden Tate, Stefon Diggs, but he has the chance to offer upside that those just don't have. For that kind of gamble we feel that the $16 price point is a nice buy with the chance of producing value far greater than a WR2/3. And HBK had money to burn, so he wasn't worried about it.

Sammy Watkins $9 - Awesomeness

How can a ram make this list? Well, we didn't feel it proper to just exclude a player because he didn't have a QB. Jared "Turn your head to the left and" Goff isn't really giving anyone a shot of confidence these days, and there is great worry with Sammy Watkins that he'll just be running ghost routes all day long. But should Watkins, who is by far the teams best receiver, stay healthy and Goff be semi-competent, Awesomeness may have nabbed a high-end WR2 for dirt cheap. No Wr at this price point offers this much upside, and Watkins has a chance to put up numbers on a team that should be down a lot. Remember, history has shown that Awesomeness has a knack for taking risks on WRs who are all but written off by the fantasy community, and have them pan out. We don't want to say that this will be the case with Watkins, but at $9, it's worth the gamble.

Honorable Mentions:

Todd Gurley $41 - Grabbers United

RB1 in the past, and got a big boost with Watkins addition. If Goff can complete downfield, Gurley will avoid 8 man boxes. A rebirth is possible.

Carlos Hyde $25 - HBK Shant Michaels

Possible Bell-cow role with nobody to threaten his workload. Shanny offenses produce top-teir RBs. Hyde could be an RB1 at an RB2 price.

Golden Tate $15 - Hartan

Price was right for Tate, but with rumors of usage similar to his 2015 breakout, there is some high end WR2/1 upside to his game. At $14 that's a steal.

Martavius Bryant $10 - Atomic Bomba

Ten bucks for a guy who put up borderline WR1 numbers the last time he played, in an offense that can't double him? All day.

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Danny Woodhead $8 - Shabam Shadiq

PPR machine and gonna be all over the place on a team that will be dumping it off a lot.

Hunter Henry $6 - Jaj Cousteau

Sleeper TE. Should Chargers be willing to force feed their best weapon, TE 1 is within range.

Worst Buys

Ty Hilton $39 -  Magnum Sev.i

We don't hate the player, but the price for the given situation is just too much for us to buy into. Andrew Luck is coming off shoulder surgery and may not be available for the first half of the season. Catching passes from Scott Tolzien just doesn't give us that blow-up fantasy feeling for TY. At $39 we'd much rather have had Deandre Hopkins or Doug Baldwin. We will say that Sev.i redeemed himself with the buy of Demeriyus at $30, so we can't be too mad at the Ty pick. However, we'd pass on the price if given the choice.

Alshon Jeffery $36 - Prime Time

Aging WR coming off injury that hasn't played a full season in 2 years for $36? No thank you.  Alshon is the sexy pick for a sleeper WR1 but we just don't see it. The eagles have a plethora of guys to throw to and Jeffery isn't exactly in a situation to be force fed the ball. At the price point that Prime Time nabbed him he could have gotten Doug Baldwin, Deandre Hopkins or Demeriyus Thomas, all players that are ranked higher than Jeffery. Everything would have to go perfectly for Alshon to return boarderline WR1 numbers. We don't see it happening. Prime Time may have thought he could use a coupon when purchasing Jeffery, but we haven't confirmed this rumor just yet.

Joe Mixon and Christian McCaffery $35 - Vosgereechee Gyank

We're putting both rookies on this peg because of the choice to purchase 2 rookies as your RBs for such a high price. We may be able to swallow taking one of the RBs at the $35 price point, but two?? Vosgee is really hoping that these RBs can break-out and while it has been done in the past, we don't see both having top 15 type years. Mixon is the third peg on a Bengals team that insists on feeding an plodding Jeremy Hill at the goal line. CMC is going to fight with Jonathan Stewart for carries. Neither situation is ideal, and while gambling on one may have been fine, we don't see both being the X factor on any team. Sorry champ, we'd return this purchase if we could.

Marshawn Lynch $27 - Shabam Shadiq

While some of their other picks gave us much hope, this one is just utterly confusing. We know that the Shadiq had every intention of getting Lynch on their squad, no matter the cost. That's exactly what they did. But we're not sure they are going to get the return on investment they hoped. Lynch hasn't been healthy in the past 2 years, and will be on the wrong side of 30 in 2017.  The last season he played he had serious back issues that hindered any sort of RB1 output. At the price point, we would have rather paid up for one of the rookies, or opted to go after Hyde. Lynch may full well be worth the $27, but if he doesn't play a full season, Shabam will be regretting not using that money else where.

Brandon Marshall $16 - Prime Time

Prime time cornered the market on aging WRs. First Jeffery, and then Marshall. If this were 2010, we'd be all over this pick. Unless Prime Time has spoken directly to Eli Manning and knows something we don't, we just can't see how Marshall returns value similar to Devante Parker, Tyreek Hill, and others around this price point. Yes he'll get some red zone looks, but did Ara forget that ODBJ is still there and Eli's go to guy? We don't think there is much left in the tank for Brandon Marshall, and at $16, he was best left for others to grab.

Honorable Mentions:

Devonte Adams $35 - Vosgereechee Gyank

He's a #2 target that is extremely touchdown dependent. We'd take Baldwin, Demariyus before Adams. Heck, proly Pryor too who went for $8 cheaper.  Too rich for our blood.

Kelvin Benjamin $29 - Prime Time

He's a WR2 at best, in a tier with Martavius Bryant, Emmanual Sanders, and Golden Tate, all who went for far less. He's not worth the $15+ price hike.

Mark Ingram $26 - Atomic Bomba

Over paying for a RB2 that is now in a time share. We'd like Ingram at $20. At $26 he's probably not worth the investment.

Terrence West $12 - BDiddy

A fringe RB3 with no O-line and doesn't catch passes. He went for more than Woodhead, who is the better pick.

Co-Managers Boycott: Commissioner releases Statement Eliminating Co-Manager Term

After approving a league wide fee for teams that have more than one manager, Members of those teams staged a boycott of all AFFL activities effective Wednesday night, throwing the league into a frenzy. League Offices were flooded with phone calls from concerned fans that their favorite teams may fold. Rumors began to float that the league is already looking to replace those teams who boycotted with the many managers waiting to enter the league. Oh and the AFFL draft is scheduled for Sunday amidst the meltdown.

To deal with the situation, The Commissioner has released the following statement.

Commissioner Statement In Regard To Managers Fees:
 
 
Since 2007, the AFFL has made it a point to provide fans a league full of competition, inclusion and fair play. Over the 11 years that the league has functioned, there have been many ups and downs, controversies, and mishaps that have threatened the sanctity of the league. Who after all can forget the Bomba/Cobra Kai feud of 2009? Still, through it all, the league has stuck together and grown at every step to embrace the culture of today.
 
With that said, co-managers will no longer exist in the AFFL. We understand the plight of BDiddy, Hartan, Shabam Shadiq, and Magnum Sev.i as the label carries with it a negative connotation. Feeling of being lesser than other teams. We are sensitive to the inclusion of these teams into the fabric of the AFFL, as they have helped make the league what it is today. We as the AFFL must strive to treat others equally, even when faced with the prospect that certain teams are different than others. We are all equal, and the number of hands a manager wishes to have on his governing body should not separate us from that truth. From this point forth, co-managers do not exist.
 
Teams will now be referred to as Bi-managerial or Trans-managerial, recognizing their choice in choosing one or multiple partners to express their fantasy skills. Despite what social science may tell us (that decisions are made by one person no matter how many are working together) we will recognize the Bi’ness and Trans'ness of our manager counter parts. And if you’re thinking about going Bi or Trans, that’s okay too. We still love you.
 
From this point forth, all Bi-Managers and Trans- Managers will be subject to a $30 fee per manager beyond the head manager. Any new Bi-managers will be subject to a $50 fee. These fees will help offset the competitive advantage of having multiple guys kooning the FA list while others are busy. In the words of Baret himself, “I’m going to sleep, Mikey will wake up early and will see who clears.” Being “Bi” means you get the best of both worlds. Or in this case, “Trans”. Pay up.  
 
Managers of the Bi & Trans teams have informed the league they intend to boycott “all league activities.” Keepers lock Thurs. at Midnight. Their team’s keepers will not be recognized until they formally announce their intent to participate in the AFFL.
 
Thank you, and we look forward to a great year of continues prosperity for the best Fantasy football league west of Yerevan.
 
 Commissioner Lalazarian

AFFL Votes in Favor of Extra Fees For Co-Managers: Is Tiggy worth 50 Bucks?

In an 8-4 tally, AFFL managers voted to charge teams with co-managers an extra fee per co-manager to help offset the "competitive advantage" that teams using multiple managers have when in their daily fantasy football operations. The primary advantage in question are Free Agent pick-ups. Having two managers able to scour the FA's presents a disadvantage to single managed teams during work hours. This is the primary argument for the charge.

The vote is groundbreaking for the AFFL and puts the future of BDiddy, Hartan, Shabam Shadiq and Magnum Sev.i in question. Franchise owners of those teams will now have to determine whether the cost of keeping their co-manager on board is worth the investment. Will Vartan part ways with Harout? Will Dre make Avo pay the entire fee himself? Will Danny volunteer to leave Sev.i so as not to put him in the position to have to choose? Owners of these teams will no doubt do detailed cost analysis on the effectiveness and rate of return these "deck-hands" bring to the franchise.

No situation is more intriguing than BDiddy, who has a league leading three managers running the franchise. Baret is the franchise owner, with Monkey Mike in charge of research analysis. Tiggy, or Tig 'ol Big, is a minority owner, claiming a 1% stake in the franchise. While this may not seem much, the BDiddy franchise has managed to finish in third place on three occasions over their 9 years in the league. The question becomes how much of an impact has Tiggy made? How much is that 1% worth?

Frankly, few know what Tiggy's role is with the BDiddy franchise. In fact, managers around the league claim they haven't seen Tiggy since 2014. Conspiracy theorists speculate that he was excommunicated years ago and his legend is still being touted like the fantasy football version of Tupac. They point to a 2009 image of Baret super imposed on the cover of Rolling Stone using Tupac's body as proof.

Assuming that Tiggy is still indeed the third wheel on the BDiddy tricycle, it's difficult to quantify his value with so little to go on. AFFL experts are split as to what Tiggy's fate could be. Some feel that Tiggy's years of service, coupled with the few known incidents of Tiggy's input will be enough to warrant his place in the franchise. Others have pointed to Baret's comments of 2016 of "trimming the fat" and "increasing efficiency" as signs that Tiggy will be co-managerless in 2017.

But one story claims Tiggy's fantasy knowledge is off the charts and cutting him would leave BDiddy in ruin. The story centers around the 2013 draft, where, according to anonymous sources, Tiggy was emphatic on BDiddy drafting Demarco Murray at pick 4, but Baret brushed him aside. Demarco went on to lead the league in total yards at RB that season. Not only did Tiggy push for Murray, the source claims that he also went down on his hands and knees begging Baret to take Cam Newton in the middle rounds, but this time Baret listened, and Cam finished 5th at the position.

Another factor in the decision of keeping Tiggy will be the means of communication that he provides. After all, it is Tiggy who tells Mikey, who tells Baret of the latest happenings in the league. Baret then tells Tiggy to relay the message to Mikey, so he would know. If Tiggy isn't around, how do Baret and Mikey communicate?

Furthering the matter is the prospects of Baret refusing to pay the fee and Tiggy showing to the draft because Baret forgot to tell Mikey to tell him not to show. Things could get ugly and AFFL security may intervene.

In the end, we anticipate that Baret forks over the fee for Tiggy, as he has been around too long and been to ingrained in the BDiddy process.

As for Mikey? Now that's a different story.

AFFL All-Time: The Greatest Teams of Each Franchise

They say you can't compare eras in sports, but lets face it, every sports conversation at some point in time turns to the greatest teams of all-time. Websites have their lists. People have their biases. The back-and-forth is an ongoing verbal sparing between fans and experts alike. It's just too fun to speculate how players in the past would do in the present.

With that in mind, the AFFL Courier will feature an ALL-TIME series that will aim to create some serious smack talk and conversation among the managers. Going into its 11th year, the AFFL has had its share of dominate teams. Atomic Bomba and Awesomeness ruled the early years of the league, while recently, Cobra Kai, Grabbers and Hartan have found ways to make their presence known. Of course, we can't forget the consistent Prime Time and BDiddy. Everyone has a stake in the game.

The question however is not only to find the greatest all-time team in each franchise, it's what do you do with it? Well, that's where the AFFL stats & inc dept comes in. The crack tech staff at the AFFL has created a unique simulator that will run a simulation of a season with the 12 best teams of all-time. This simulation won't tell us which team will be the greatest team of all-time, however, the team that wins the simulation will have serious ego stroking going on.

So this multi-part series will focus on finding the greatest all-time teams for each franchise, and then finding out which team would win in a simulated series. But first, lets talk about the method.

What we used to find the Greatest Teams of All-time

Atomic Bomba can claim multiple great teams, as can Awesomeness. But how doyou choose which one is best?  Which 2nd place finishing team of Grabbers was the more dominant? How do we differentiate between all the Prime Time teams? Furthermore, what do you do if you have a team that was statistically better than a team that went further? These are just a few of the difficult tasks that the AFFL stats & inc had to mull over in order to come up with the proper categories to determining the greatest teams of each franchise. Ultimately, the formula boiled down between a combination of total points, record, and final finish, along with a sprinkle of weekly totals mixed in.

The factors

Looking at each teams franchise, we took each managers best teams according to where they finished the season that year. We then examined the total points they scored, along with their regular season record. We factored in how they did week-to-week and whether or not they were winning because of a weak schedule or dominant performance. We gave the benefit to teams that were winning with scores over a 100 points rather than ones that eeked out victories below.

One twist though was what to do with the 2011 change in scoring. Bonuses were added in 2011, upping the total season points thereafter. This would put teams like the Bomba and Awesomeness at a disadvantage for those years when comparing them to their teams after 2011. In order to adjust for this, we added points for each team before 2011 based on the weekly totals of the players on the roster. The adjusted season totals for the teams before 2011 would thus be more on par with the franchises latter teams.

Okay, without further ado, here are the greatest teams of each Franchise in Alpha order. Let the historical games begin. PS. No teams will be considered prior to the 2008 season. 2007 was a 10 team league, and 2006, while featured some AFFL franchises, was not officially titled the AFFL.

Greatest All-Time Teams

Atomic Bomba

Possibilities - 2008 (1st. 9-4. 1502), 2009 (2nd. 9-4. 1512) , 2011 (1st. 9-4. 1497), 2012 (1st. 7-6. 1476) , 2013 (11-2. 2nd. 1668)

The Pick: Atomic Bomba '08

This was tough. A strong case could be made for a few other teams that the Bomba has had over the years, including the 2013 team that featured the best record and 2nd highest total points for a season all-time. But we just can't bring ourselves to give it to a 2nd place finisher when the Bomba has 3 other teams that won a title. Thus, we are going with the what we feel is the best championship team of the bunch, the '08 team that featured the top RB that season Deangelo WIlliams, The 3rd highest finishing QB Kurt Warner, and the fourth overall RB Steve Slaton (remember him?). The teams adjusted score for the current scoring system would have garnished a season total of 1575, and most probably a few more wins. The 2008 Atomic Bomba squad put up 100+ points in 10 of the 13 games, and finished with seven consecutive wins which is still a record. He was as dominant in the post-season, posting 143 points in the semis, and a championship scoring record of 169 pts that still stands. Considering that bonuses weren't even around then, that final total is impressive. It was also a year of great coaching, as both of the first two picks taken in the draft fell to injury. The team is remembered because of the crazy Deangelo year, and the out-of-no-where draft pick of Steve Slaton. They say the first one is the sweetest, and that sure holds true for the Atomic Bomba.

Awesomeness

Possibilities - 2008 (2nd. 9-4. 1514). 2009 (1st. 8-5. 1493). 2010 (1st. 11-2. 1561). 2015 (3rd. 8-5. 1587).

The Pick - Awesomeness '10

The third version of Awesomeness brought the best one yet. In the early years of the AFFL the Awesome one was a frequent visitor to the Championship game reaching the mark three years in a row. His three trips to the finals brought 2 titles, and no team was more dominant than the 2010 team. The 1561 point season total would be adjusted to 1635 by today's scoring system. The 11-2 record is still tied for the highest all-time.  During the 2010 season, Awesomeness put up a staggering 12 straight 100+ point games, producing the AFFL's longest regular season win streak (8). Those records still stand. The team was lead by Tom Brady, the top QB that season, and Ray Rice, who had his best season that year. There were also big contributions from unlikely heroes like Terrell Owens, Knowshawn Moreno, and Pierre Garcon. Awesomeness exploded through the regular season, consistently putting up over 120+ a game and earning the bye with ease. In the playoffs, a stat correction helped squeak by Prime Time in the Semi-Final game over Prime Time. But in the Championship game, Awesomeness left no doubt defeating Magnum Sev.i 122-106. This team still has players on it that would be worthy of starting today which says something about just how strong the 2010 Awesomeness squad was.

BDiddy

The possibilities - 2009 (3rd. 7-6. 1468). 2011 (3rd. 8-5. 1450). 2016 (3rd. 8-5. 1595)

The pick - BDiddy '16

It's ironic isn't it? The team with 3 managers finishes 3rd three times. The Diddy has had much success in the AFFL over the years, making it to the semi-final game at will. However, that seems to be the hump that the team just can't get over. Diddy's franchise has featured strong teams in 2009 and 2011. None however top the team rostered in 2016. The 8-5 squad put up a strong 1595 points all while putting up 100+ points in all 13 regular season games. The consistency and excellence places them a notch above the 2011 team despite that team's ridiculous 1st round playoff game. The 2016 Diddy team was well balanced, with a three-headed RB monster of Lamar Miller, Melvin Gordon and Le'Veon Bell. The team needed to overcome the loss of 2nd round pick Keenan Allen and lackluster production from Golden Tate and Michael floyd. The late acquisition of Travis Kelce and Le'Veon Bell put the team into a different realm, where winning seemed a forgone conclusion. The team entered the playoffs as the 5th seed and knocked the previous champs Hartan out in the first round. However, the squad would run into a hot HBK team and lose in the Semi-finals. Still, this squad was the best team the franchise has produced, and considering they did it last season, things are looking up for the Diddy.

COBRA KAI

The Possibilities -  2013 (1st. 9-4.1614). 2014 (3rd. 8-5. 1603)

The Pick - Cobra Kai '13

The early years of the Cobra Kai didn't bring much success, but since the league has switched to a keeper league, the Cobra has been striking with regularity. Two teams take the stage as potential all-timers for the kai, but only one has a title to boot. The 2013 team was an epic mix of top tier talent and weekly ass-kicking of opponents. After a frenzy at the trade deadline that saw the team make 5 trades in a span of 3 hours, the team became epic. Lesean McCoy, Jamaal Charles , and Demarco Murray made-up perhaps the greatest RB trio in AFFL history. WIth 3 of the top five RBs overall and solid WRs and QB play, the Cobra put 100+ points in 11 of 13 reg. season games and finished second overall. The thumping continued into the post-season where the team put up a 169 points in the semi-final game and 159 in the Title match versus a strong Bomba squad. Was this the greatest team of all time? We don't know, but we sure know it was a damn good one. While replicating the success of this team is always the goal, it looks like Cobra may have outdone himself. The league surely doesn't want to see a repeat of this team again.

Grabbers United

The Possibilties - 2012 (2nd. 7-6. 1470). 2014 (5th. 9-4. 1702). 2015 (2nd. 9-4. 1416)

The Pick - Grabbers United '14

The road to success for Grabbers has been a windy one, but has resulted in great success over the past five seasons. The apex of this success is the 2015 squad which in 2nd overall. However, despite the high finish of the 2015 season, we're gonna select the Grabbers squad of 2014 which set all sorts of records. The 2014 team was only the second team ever to put up 100+ points in all 13 games in a season. In fact, the team put up 120+ for the last 10 games straight with multiple 130, 140 and 150 pt games. Grabbers also set a record that year with most points scored in an season with 1702. By every measure, this team was already looking like the best team ever. The team was built with balance and little flash, led by Gronk and Luck, the two keepers Grabbers elected to retain. Dez Bryant mixed in to elevate the rosters upside, but the big pick-up was the FAAB acquisition of Justin Forsett, who Grabbers broke the bank to acquire. The move paid off as Forsett solidified the RB2 slot and the team ascended the standings. The team would fall to Jaj in the last weeks of the regular season by .2 and would then in flukey fashion fall to the Cousteau again in the 1st round of the playoffs by the same margin. We call bad luck on a team that was built for an all-time epic finish. We'd be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn't disagree that this squad deserves to be on this list. 

Hartan

The Possibilities - 2011 (4th. 9-4. 1506). 2012 (4th. 9-4. 1617). 2015 (1st. 9-4. 1519).

The Pick - Hartan '15

After years of mediocrity, finishing the season in 8th place, Hartan upped their game with consecutive 4th place finishes. The improvement was just the building blocks for what would be their greatest team of All-time during the 2015 season. Led by ODBJ and Drew Brees, Hartan managed to attain a 9-4 record and 1st overall seed. Scoring 100+ points in only 9 of 13 games, the team didn't have the type of consistent firepower that other teams on this list had. But while they didn't break the bank on 100+ games, the teams ceiling rivals any other franchises best with 2 160+ games. Part of the reason for lack of pop was that the roster didn't have a lot of flash, just solid players. The RB core was made of Gurley and Ingram, and weekly holes were filled with the likes of Maclin and Lockett. Delanie Walker provided some upside as well. Entering the playoffs as the 1st seed doesn't guarantee success, as only 2 1 seeds have ever won the title. But Hartan proved worthy, putting a strong 141points in the semi-final game, and then a respectful 131 to win the title. More importantly, this team is now the team that managers remember when thinking of Hartan and their titles, erasing the stigma of their lone title in 2007 during a shortened 10 team season. The 2015 put Hartan in elite company as one of only six AFFL team to win a title in the 12 team format. Well done.

HBK Shant Michaels

The Possibilities - 2014 (4th. 9-4. 1481) 2015 (2nd. 10-3. 1611).

The Pick - HBK Shant Michaels '16

Oh what could have been. The road to success has been a difficult one for HBK. For years, the franchise struggled to solidify its image among the best in the league, finishing no higher than 4th in any season. The 2016 team changed all that in epic fashion. Not only is the 2016 team one of the best All-time, it was involved in one of, if not the greatest AFFL championship match ever. The record setting 2016 team managed to put up 100+ points for 12 of 13 reg. season games. But that's not what was most impressive. HBK '16 put up 130+ 7 times an AFFL record, with 4 of those games being 140+. The high ceiling was just too much for teams to deal with. Lead by all-everything back David Johnson, and all-world Drew Brees, the team managed to survive an injury to top pick AJ green with solid management, picking up Michael Thomas mid-season. The onslaught of points continued to in the playoffs, where HBK put up 158 points in the Semi-final game. Losing any game is tough, but losing when you put up 130, in the AFFL title game just stings more. Needing only 7 points from Dan Bailey, HBK fell to Vosgee by .72 in one of the most unexpected finals ever. Despite the loss, the 2nd place 2016 put up historic numbers and goes down as one of the greatest all time. HBK won't take solace in that thought, but he should in the fact that two of the members from the team will be used to build his 2017 squad. I'm sure the league isn't looking forward to the prospects of a repeat performance.

Jaj Cousteau

The Possibilities - 2010 (3rd. 10-3. 1584) 2014 (1st. 6-7. 1540).

The Pick - Jaj Cousteau '14

At first glance, the Jaj Cousteau '14 team doesn't seem to belong in the All-time ranks. Yes, they did win the title that season, becoming the first team with a losing record during the reg. season to do so. But sometimes the strength in a team is in its resiliency. This is the case with Cousteau. The '14 team was riddled with bad luck and still managed to come out on top. They had an opponent point total of 1684 which was nearly 100 points higher than the second team. They were getting the best of every team each week. But don't think they didn't pack firepower. From weeks 3-13, Coustea '14 put up 10 straight 100+ point games. They managed to squeeze into the playoffs by beating a hot Grabbers team by .2 in the 12th week of the season. Then they did it again in week one of the playoffs. Led by the trifecta of Antonio Brown, Demeriyus Thomas and Jamaal Charles, the team relied on weekly plug-ins and pick-ups to offset some injuries during the season. Any team that can win a title with Alex Smith at QB deserves some recognition, and the Cousteau team of 14' is getting.

Magnum Sev.i

The Possibilities - 2010 (2nd. 7-6. 1457) 2012 (3rd. 8-5. 1475)

The Pick - Magnum Sev.i '10

The 2010 Magnum Sev.i squad edges out the '12 version on our all-time list because of the higher finish. Both teams are very similar to one another with they stats they put up during the reg. season. However, the 2010 version had just a tad more upside with 4 games of 130+. and finishing the season with 6 straight wins. The team was led by Andre Johnson and Lesean McCoy at the skill positions and Peyton Manning at QB. It was a waiver wires who's-who from there on out. The team managed to end the season strong and get into the playoffs as a 3 seed, where they put up 140 points in the first round match. In the Semi's they managed to beat a tough Cousteau team to make their first trip to the finals, where they lost to the defending champ Awesomeness. The team wasn't flashy, but accomplished something only ahandful of teams have done before, make it to the final game. We respect that.

Prime Time

The possibilities - 2008 (3rd. 7-6. 1291) 2011 (2nd. 10-3. 1562) 2013 (3rd. 8-5. 1430) 2014 (2nd. 10-3. 1623)

The Pick - Prime Time '11

Prime Time has had a few great teams in his long AFFL career, but 2011 is at the top of the list. A force to be reckoned with, Prime put up 11 games of 100+, winning 6 of his last seven games,  finishing the regular season with a 10-3 record. The roster was loaded with top position players all over the place: Brees at QB, Dez at WR, Marshawn and Arian Foster at RB, Steve Smith at WR.  Brees put up over 500 points that season, seemingly winning games on his own. Entering the playoffs as the 1st seed and bye, all expectations were that Prime would make it to the championship game. He did, defeating BDiddy 147-137 in the semi's to get a match-up against the powerful Bomba.  The team faltered in the title match, and only managed to put up 117, a surprise to most experts. Since then, Prime has managed to make it into the top 3 numerous times including another finals trip in 2014. However, when talking about the best of Prime Time, the conversation starts with the team that gave the franchise their first finals appearance in 2011. 

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Shabam Shadiq

The Possibilties - 2009 (5th. 8-5. 1509) 2011 (5th. 8-5. 1464) 2016 (5th. 7-6. 1485)

The Pick - Shabam Shadiq '09

The story of the Shabam Shadiq has yet to add a playoff win, and no team better captures the plight of the Shadiq than the '09 team. Putting up a franchise best 8-5 record during the reg. season, Shabam was inline to earn the bye and win the division. Ending the season with a 4 game win streak, the 'Diq was strong, putting up 130+ five times, and 100+ in 10 of 13 games. Led by Andre johnson, Fred Jackson, Reggie Wayne and Randy Moss, the team was championship caliber, showcasing a fearsome foursome that was tops in the league. The history of Shabam had them losing out on the post-season due to injuries, but '09 saw the roster stay healthy and they entered the playoffs as one of the favorites to win it all. However, not getting the bye due to a tie breaker with division records, Shabam was forced to play the first round and fell to Miyagi by 14 points, ending their hopes at a title. The '09 team was the first time of the franchise to make the playoffs. Shabam has since returned to the playoffs on four other occasions, but has yet to win a playoff game. Many believe the '09 team set off an AFFL curse on the franchise, one they haven't been able to shake. Regardless, the '09 Shabam team was very strong, even if their potential was cut short. 

Vosgereechee Gyank

The Possibilties - 2008 (6th. 8-5. 1425) 2016 (1st. 9-4. 1580)

The Pick - Vosgee Gyank '16

The history of the Vosgee isn't littered with success, but that doesn't mean success hasn't found Vosgee. The 2016 Gyank squad did the unthinkable in dramatic fashion, upsetting expectations to become the 6th franchise to win an AFFL title. Many people say the success of the 2016 time was a fluke, and even though luck was indeed a factor, the team was solid up and down. Scoring 100+ for 11 of 13 reg. season games, Vosgee finished the year winning 9 of 10 games including the playoffs. Aaron Rodgers and Antonio Brown did the bulk of the lifting weekly, while Gore, Forte and others chipped in for solid play. Despite the lack of name recognition, the team was able to put up 168 points, so the ceiling was indeed high. Finishing the year with an 9-4 record and entering the playoffs as the 3rd seed, Vosgee defeated Shabam and a strong Prime Time squad to reach the finals versus a scorching hot HBK team. The underdog Gyank managed to influence the fantasy gods just enough to pull off an improbable .72 victory, surviving Dan Bailey and six extra points on Monday night Football to win the teams first Title. Before 2016, Vosgee had only made the playoffs once, and hadn't won a playoff game. The 2016 put the Gyank in rare company, placing him in the ring of champions for eternity. Go figure.