AFFL All-Time: The Greatest Teams of Each Franchise

They say you can't compare eras in sports, but lets face it, every sports conversation at some point in time turns to the greatest teams of all-time. Websites have their lists. People have their biases. The back-and-forth is an ongoing verbal sparing between fans and experts alike. It's just too fun to speculate how players in the past would do in the present.

With that in mind, the AFFL Courier will feature an ALL-TIME series that will aim to create some serious smack talk and conversation among the managers. Going into its 11th year, the AFFL has had its share of dominate teams. Atomic Bomba and Awesomeness ruled the early years of the league, while recently, Cobra Kai, Grabbers and Hartan have found ways to make their presence known. Of course, we can't forget the consistent Prime Time and BDiddy. Everyone has a stake in the game.

The question however is not only to find the greatest all-time team in each franchise, it's what do you do with it? Well, that's where the AFFL stats & inc dept comes in. The crack tech staff at the AFFL has created a unique simulator that will run a simulation of a season with the 12 best teams of all-time. This simulation won't tell us which team will be the greatest team of all-time, however, the team that wins the simulation will have serious ego stroking going on.

So this multi-part series will focus on finding the greatest all-time teams for each franchise, and then finding out which team would win in a simulated series. But first, lets talk about the method.

What we used to find the Greatest Teams of All-time

Atomic Bomba can claim multiple great teams, as can Awesomeness. But how doyou choose which one is best?  Which 2nd place finishing team of Grabbers was the more dominant? How do we differentiate between all the Prime Time teams? Furthermore, what do you do if you have a team that was statistically better than a team that went further? These are just a few of the difficult tasks that the AFFL stats & inc had to mull over in order to come up with the proper categories to determining the greatest teams of each franchise. Ultimately, the formula boiled down between a combination of total points, record, and final finish, along with a sprinkle of weekly totals mixed in.

The factors

Looking at each teams franchise, we took each managers best teams according to where they finished the season that year. We then examined the total points they scored, along with their regular season record. We factored in how they did week-to-week and whether or not they were winning because of a weak schedule or dominant performance. We gave the benefit to teams that were winning with scores over a 100 points rather than ones that eeked out victories below.

One twist though was what to do with the 2011 change in scoring. Bonuses were added in 2011, upping the total season points thereafter. This would put teams like the Bomba and Awesomeness at a disadvantage for those years when comparing them to their teams after 2011. In order to adjust for this, we added points for each team before 2011 based on the weekly totals of the players on the roster. The adjusted season totals for the teams before 2011 would thus be more on par with the franchises latter teams.

Okay, without further ado, here are the greatest teams of each Franchise in Alpha order. Let the historical games begin. PS. No teams will be considered prior to the 2008 season. 2007 was a 10 team league, and 2006, while featured some AFFL franchises, was not officially titled the AFFL.

Greatest All-Time Teams

Atomic Bomba

Possibilities - 2008 (1st. 9-4. 1502), 2009 (2nd. 9-4. 1512) , 2011 (1st. 9-4. 1497), 2012 (1st. 7-6. 1476) , 2013 (11-2. 2nd. 1668)

The Pick: Atomic Bomba '08

This was tough. A strong case could be made for a few other teams that the Bomba has had over the years, including the 2013 team that featured the best record and 2nd highest total points for a season all-time. But we just can't bring ourselves to give it to a 2nd place finisher when the Bomba has 3 other teams that won a title. Thus, we are going with the what we feel is the best championship team of the bunch, the '08 team that featured the top RB that season Deangelo WIlliams, The 3rd highest finishing QB Kurt Warner, and the fourth overall RB Steve Slaton (remember him?). The teams adjusted score for the current scoring system would have garnished a season total of 1575, and most probably a few more wins. The 2008 Atomic Bomba squad put up 100+ points in 10 of the 13 games, and finished with seven consecutive wins which is still a record. He was as dominant in the post-season, posting 143 points in the semis, and a championship scoring record of 169 pts that still stands. Considering that bonuses weren't even around then, that final total is impressive. It was also a year of great coaching, as both of the first two picks taken in the draft fell to injury. The team is remembered because of the crazy Deangelo year, and the out-of-no-where draft pick of Steve Slaton. They say the first one is the sweetest, and that sure holds true for the Atomic Bomba.

Awesomeness

Possibilities - 2008 (2nd. 9-4. 1514). 2009 (1st. 8-5. 1493). 2010 (1st. 11-2. 1561). 2015 (3rd. 8-5. 1587).

The Pick - Awesomeness '10

The third version of Awesomeness brought the best one yet. In the early years of the AFFL the Awesome one was a frequent visitor to the Championship game reaching the mark three years in a row. His three trips to the finals brought 2 titles, and no team was more dominant than the 2010 team. The 1561 point season total would be adjusted to 1635 by today's scoring system. The 11-2 record is still tied for the highest all-time.  During the 2010 season, Awesomeness put up a staggering 12 straight 100+ point games, producing the AFFL's longest regular season win streak (8). Those records still stand. The team was lead by Tom Brady, the top QB that season, and Ray Rice, who had his best season that year. There were also big contributions from unlikely heroes like Terrell Owens, Knowshawn Moreno, and Pierre Garcon. Awesomeness exploded through the regular season, consistently putting up over 120+ a game and earning the bye with ease. In the playoffs, a stat correction helped squeak by Prime Time in the Semi-Final game over Prime Time. But in the Championship game, Awesomeness left no doubt defeating Magnum Sev.i 122-106. This team still has players on it that would be worthy of starting today which says something about just how strong the 2010 Awesomeness squad was.

BDiddy

The possibilities - 2009 (3rd. 7-6. 1468). 2011 (3rd. 8-5. 1450). 2016 (3rd. 8-5. 1595)

The pick - BDiddy '16

It's ironic isn't it? The team with 3 managers finishes 3rd three times. The Diddy has had much success in the AFFL over the years, making it to the semi-final game at will. However, that seems to be the hump that the team just can't get over. Diddy's franchise has featured strong teams in 2009 and 2011. None however top the team rostered in 2016. The 8-5 squad put up a strong 1595 points all while putting up 100+ points in all 13 regular season games. The consistency and excellence places them a notch above the 2011 team despite that team's ridiculous 1st round playoff game. The 2016 Diddy team was well balanced, with a three-headed RB monster of Lamar Miller, Melvin Gordon and Le'Veon Bell. The team needed to overcome the loss of 2nd round pick Keenan Allen and lackluster production from Golden Tate and Michael floyd. The late acquisition of Travis Kelce and Le'Veon Bell put the team into a different realm, where winning seemed a forgone conclusion. The team entered the playoffs as the 5th seed and knocked the previous champs Hartan out in the first round. However, the squad would run into a hot HBK team and lose in the Semi-finals. Still, this squad was the best team the franchise has produced, and considering they did it last season, things are looking up for the Diddy.

COBRA KAI

The Possibilities -  2013 (1st. 9-4.1614). 2014 (3rd. 8-5. 1603)

The Pick - Cobra Kai '13

The early years of the Cobra Kai didn't bring much success, but since the league has switched to a keeper league, the Cobra has been striking with regularity. Two teams take the stage as potential all-timers for the kai, but only one has a title to boot. The 2013 team was an epic mix of top tier talent and weekly ass-kicking of opponents. After a frenzy at the trade deadline that saw the team make 5 trades in a span of 3 hours, the team became epic. Lesean McCoy, Jamaal Charles , and Demarco Murray made-up perhaps the greatest RB trio in AFFL history. WIth 3 of the top five RBs overall and solid WRs and QB play, the Cobra put 100+ points in 11 of 13 reg. season games and finished second overall. The thumping continued into the post-season where the team put up a 169 points in the semi-final game and 159 in the Title match versus a strong Bomba squad. Was this the greatest team of all time? We don't know, but we sure know it was a damn good one. While replicating the success of this team is always the goal, it looks like Cobra may have outdone himself. The league surely doesn't want to see a repeat of this team again.

Grabbers United

The Possibilties - 2012 (2nd. 7-6. 1470). 2014 (5th. 9-4. 1702). 2015 (2nd. 9-4. 1416)

The Pick - Grabbers United '14

The road to success for Grabbers has been a windy one, but has resulted in great success over the past five seasons. The apex of this success is the 2015 squad which in 2nd overall. However, despite the high finish of the 2015 season, we're gonna select the Grabbers squad of 2014 which set all sorts of records. The 2014 team was only the second team ever to put up 100+ points in all 13 games in a season. In fact, the team put up 120+ for the last 10 games straight with multiple 130, 140 and 150 pt games. Grabbers also set a record that year with most points scored in an season with 1702. By every measure, this team was already looking like the best team ever. The team was built with balance and little flash, led by Gronk and Luck, the two keepers Grabbers elected to retain. Dez Bryant mixed in to elevate the rosters upside, but the big pick-up was the FAAB acquisition of Justin Forsett, who Grabbers broke the bank to acquire. The move paid off as Forsett solidified the RB2 slot and the team ascended the standings. The team would fall to Jaj in the last weeks of the regular season by .2 and would then in flukey fashion fall to the Cousteau again in the 1st round of the playoffs by the same margin. We call bad luck on a team that was built for an all-time epic finish. We'd be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn't disagree that this squad deserves to be on this list. 

Hartan

The Possibilities - 2011 (4th. 9-4. 1506). 2012 (4th. 9-4. 1617). 2015 (1st. 9-4. 1519).

The Pick - Hartan '15

After years of mediocrity, finishing the season in 8th place, Hartan upped their game with consecutive 4th place finishes. The improvement was just the building blocks for what would be their greatest team of All-time during the 2015 season. Led by ODBJ and Drew Brees, Hartan managed to attain a 9-4 record and 1st overall seed. Scoring 100+ points in only 9 of 13 games, the team didn't have the type of consistent firepower that other teams on this list had. But while they didn't break the bank on 100+ games, the teams ceiling rivals any other franchises best with 2 160+ games. Part of the reason for lack of pop was that the roster didn't have a lot of flash, just solid players. The RB core was made of Gurley and Ingram, and weekly holes were filled with the likes of Maclin and Lockett. Delanie Walker provided some upside as well. Entering the playoffs as the 1st seed doesn't guarantee success, as only 2 1 seeds have ever won the title. But Hartan proved worthy, putting a strong 141points in the semi-final game, and then a respectful 131 to win the title. More importantly, this team is now the team that managers remember when thinking of Hartan and their titles, erasing the stigma of their lone title in 2007 during a shortened 10 team season. The 2015 put Hartan in elite company as one of only six AFFL team to win a title in the 12 team format. Well done.

HBK Shant Michaels

The Possibilities - 2014 (4th. 9-4. 1481) 2015 (2nd. 10-3. 1611).

The Pick - HBK Shant Michaels '16

Oh what could have been. The road to success has been a difficult one for HBK. For years, the franchise struggled to solidify its image among the best in the league, finishing no higher than 4th in any season. The 2016 team changed all that in epic fashion. Not only is the 2016 team one of the best All-time, it was involved in one of, if not the greatest AFFL championship match ever. The record setting 2016 team managed to put up 100+ points for 12 of 13 reg. season games. But that's not what was most impressive. HBK '16 put up 130+ 7 times an AFFL record, with 4 of those games being 140+. The high ceiling was just too much for teams to deal with. Lead by all-everything back David Johnson, and all-world Drew Brees, the team managed to survive an injury to top pick AJ green with solid management, picking up Michael Thomas mid-season. The onslaught of points continued to in the playoffs, where HBK put up 158 points in the Semi-final game. Losing any game is tough, but losing when you put up 130, in the AFFL title game just stings more. Needing only 7 points from Dan Bailey, HBK fell to Vosgee by .72 in one of the most unexpected finals ever. Despite the loss, the 2nd place 2016 put up historic numbers and goes down as one of the greatest all time. HBK won't take solace in that thought, but he should in the fact that two of the members from the team will be used to build his 2017 squad. I'm sure the league isn't looking forward to the prospects of a repeat performance.

Jaj Cousteau

The Possibilities - 2010 (3rd. 10-3. 1584) 2014 (1st. 6-7. 1540).

The Pick - Jaj Cousteau '14

At first glance, the Jaj Cousteau '14 team doesn't seem to belong in the All-time ranks. Yes, they did win the title that season, becoming the first team with a losing record during the reg. season to do so. But sometimes the strength in a team is in its resiliency. This is the case with Cousteau. The '14 team was riddled with bad luck and still managed to come out on top. They had an opponent point total of 1684 which was nearly 100 points higher than the second team. They were getting the best of every team each week. But don't think they didn't pack firepower. From weeks 3-13, Coustea '14 put up 10 straight 100+ point games. They managed to squeeze into the playoffs by beating a hot Grabbers team by .2 in the 12th week of the season. Then they did it again in week one of the playoffs. Led by the trifecta of Antonio Brown, Demeriyus Thomas and Jamaal Charles, the team relied on weekly plug-ins and pick-ups to offset some injuries during the season. Any team that can win a title with Alex Smith at QB deserves some recognition, and the Cousteau team of 14' is getting.

Magnum Sev.i

The Possibilities - 2010 (2nd. 7-6. 1457) 2012 (3rd. 8-5. 1475)

The Pick - Magnum Sev.i '10

The 2010 Magnum Sev.i squad edges out the '12 version on our all-time list because of the higher finish. Both teams are very similar to one another with they stats they put up during the reg. season. However, the 2010 version had just a tad more upside with 4 games of 130+. and finishing the season with 6 straight wins. The team was led by Andre Johnson and Lesean McCoy at the skill positions and Peyton Manning at QB. It was a waiver wires who's-who from there on out. The team managed to end the season strong and get into the playoffs as a 3 seed, where they put up 140 points in the first round match. In the Semi's they managed to beat a tough Cousteau team to make their first trip to the finals, where they lost to the defending champ Awesomeness. The team wasn't flashy, but accomplished something only ahandful of teams have done before, make it to the final game. We respect that.

Prime Time

The possibilities - 2008 (3rd. 7-6. 1291) 2011 (2nd. 10-3. 1562) 2013 (3rd. 8-5. 1430) 2014 (2nd. 10-3. 1623)

The Pick - Prime Time '11

Prime Time has had a few great teams in his long AFFL career, but 2011 is at the top of the list. A force to be reckoned with, Prime put up 11 games of 100+, winning 6 of his last seven games,  finishing the regular season with a 10-3 record. The roster was loaded with top position players all over the place: Brees at QB, Dez at WR, Marshawn and Arian Foster at RB, Steve Smith at WR.  Brees put up over 500 points that season, seemingly winning games on his own. Entering the playoffs as the 1st seed and bye, all expectations were that Prime would make it to the championship game. He did, defeating BDiddy 147-137 in the semi's to get a match-up against the powerful Bomba.  The team faltered in the title match, and only managed to put up 117, a surprise to most experts. Since then, Prime has managed to make it into the top 3 numerous times including another finals trip in 2014. However, when talking about the best of Prime Time, the conversation starts with the team that gave the franchise their first finals appearance in 2011. 

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Shabam Shadiq

The Possibilties - 2009 (5th. 8-5. 1509) 2011 (5th. 8-5. 1464) 2016 (5th. 7-6. 1485)

The Pick - Shabam Shadiq '09

The story of the Shabam Shadiq has yet to add a playoff win, and no team better captures the plight of the Shadiq than the '09 team. Putting up a franchise best 8-5 record during the reg. season, Shabam was inline to earn the bye and win the division. Ending the season with a 4 game win streak, the 'Diq was strong, putting up 130+ five times, and 100+ in 10 of 13 games. Led by Andre johnson, Fred Jackson, Reggie Wayne and Randy Moss, the team was championship caliber, showcasing a fearsome foursome that was tops in the league. The history of Shabam had them losing out on the post-season due to injuries, but '09 saw the roster stay healthy and they entered the playoffs as one of the favorites to win it all. However, not getting the bye due to a tie breaker with division records, Shabam was forced to play the first round and fell to Miyagi by 14 points, ending their hopes at a title. The '09 team was the first time of the franchise to make the playoffs. Shabam has since returned to the playoffs on four other occasions, but has yet to win a playoff game. Many believe the '09 team set off an AFFL curse on the franchise, one they haven't been able to shake. Regardless, the '09 Shabam team was very strong, even if their potential was cut short. 

Vosgereechee Gyank

The Possibilties - 2008 (6th. 8-5. 1425) 2016 (1st. 9-4. 1580)

The Pick - Vosgee Gyank '16

The history of the Vosgee isn't littered with success, but that doesn't mean success hasn't found Vosgee. The 2016 Gyank squad did the unthinkable in dramatic fashion, upsetting expectations to become the 6th franchise to win an AFFL title. Many people say the success of the 2016 time was a fluke, and even though luck was indeed a factor, the team was solid up and down. Scoring 100+ for 11 of 13 reg. season games, Vosgee finished the year winning 9 of 10 games including the playoffs. Aaron Rodgers and Antonio Brown did the bulk of the lifting weekly, while Gore, Forte and others chipped in for solid play. Despite the lack of name recognition, the team was able to put up 168 points, so the ceiling was indeed high. Finishing the year with an 9-4 record and entering the playoffs as the 3rd seed, Vosgee defeated Shabam and a strong Prime Time squad to reach the finals versus a scorching hot HBK team. The underdog Gyank managed to influence the fantasy gods just enough to pull off an improbable .72 victory, surviving Dan Bailey and six extra points on Monday night Football to win the teams first Title. Before 2016, Vosgee had only made the playoffs once, and hadn't won a playoff game. The 2016 put the Gyank in rare company, placing him in the ring of champions for eternity. Go figure.

AFFL Managers Spotlight: Cobra Kai to become first Duel Sport Manager

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"The blades of grass on any field are the same. Just different cleats" - Cobra Kai

If the above quote is true, then Cobra is looking to wear two types of cleats at the same time. AFFL news is reporting that Cobra Kai is looking to become an Assistant Manager in the AYSO soccer league in order to coach his son and AFFL co-manager Samuel. He has been attending mandatory training classes this week in hopes of becoming eligible for the beginning of the season.

"I don't know much about soccer, except you gotta kick it into the net," said Sayyad from the parking lot of the AYSO headquarters. "But I know you get to sweep the leg, and I like that."

Unfortunately for Sayyad, sweeping the leg is a penalty unless the defender strikes the ball first, but I guess he'll find that out the hard way.

The move to coach in the AYSO comes at a time when Cobra should be preparing for the AFFL draft, prompting rumblings that Kai is no longer committed to his AFFL obligations. Primetime Owner Ara has already come out and blasted Sayyad on social media tweeting out "He Cobra, if you're gonna quit, Quit! Don't create excuses!#AFFL"

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Cobra kai has been a team on the rise in years past, becoming the 3rd team to win a title in 2013 and finishing 3rd in 2014. However, the last few seasons have seen a decline in production in the Cobra kai brand with a 5th place finish in 2015 and an 8th place finish in 2016. Critics point to this trend as evidence, coupled with the recent soccer coaching move as Cobra's lack of motivation in the AFFL. Cobra has vehemently denied the claim.

"No chance. Never say die brotha. No mercy. Always."

So what happens in 2017? Can Cobra where two types of cleats and still succeed on both fronts? Experts believe that its impossible. The last duel sports athletes were in the 90s and today's sports demands are just too great. Compounding the issue is the fact that should Cobra fail, he's bringing his son down with him, something child psychologists warn could be detrimental to Samuel's attitude toward sports. Psych expert Rob Lovell explains:

"When Samuel realizes that his father has coached him to losing in soccer and in the AFFL, he's just gonna believe that whatever he does with his father means that it will end ina loss. Don't be surprised if Samuel decides to split from his father's coaching responsibilities by the age of 6."

All the pressure is on Cobra Kai now to deliver two titles in two different versions of football. If he succeeds he will have done something never done in the history of the AFFL. But if he fails, he may have to face the prospect of losing a co-manager. Finding out that sweeping the leg is apenalty in soccer seems to be the least of his worries.

AFFL Managers Spotlight: The Commish visits Grabbers United

12:30 pm - On a warm sunny afternoon in Glendale, Sassoon, owner and manager of Grabbers United, sits pensively on his couch.  In front of him, a small laptop with multiple tabs opened to fantasy football pages. Still and silent, Sassoon takes in the charts, graphs and analytics with deep thought, meticulously planning for the upcoming AFFL Draft. But the silence doesn't last long, as his three little boys, Antranik (6), Haik (5) and Nareg (3) race around the livingroom, jumping on the couch in a terrorizing game of tag. Through the screams of joy and happiness, Sassoon takes a few sips of his green tea and calmly says "Okay guys, that's enough. Antranik not the jooj." Order is restored for a moment and he quietly goes back to his research.

"Some managers have one child. Others have two. Nobody has three," said Sassoon as he wrangled Antranik away from the fridge. "You know what they say 'life doesn't start til three."

On this particular day, the kids are paid a visit by Commissioner Lalazarian to take part in the Commissioners Families of the AFFL program which aims to bring the league closer together with AFFL families. They hit it off with a bang, with the commissioner soon tossing the kids around like he was a ride at an amusement park.

"Competing in the AFFL is hard enough, but doing it while managing three young children is near impossible.," said Lalazarian. "They got a lot of energy. I don't know how he does it. My ass is tired after 5 min."

But despite being a dedicated father, Sassoon has managed to grow the Grabbers United franchise into one of the fastest rising brands in the AFFL.

After joining the league in 2008, Grabbers struggled to be competitive, finishing no better than 9th place during the first four seasons. The losses piled up, and he was even humiliated to show his ass in the neighborhood. Figuratively and literally.

"People would see the Ass Grabbers name and say 'you are what you grab' and they were right," recalls Grabbers. "It was frustrating."

Determined to take his vorik to new heights, Grabbers bogged down and put greater emphasis into the process. He stayed up later and went to bed earlier. The lack of sleep from a house full of kids paid off with his 2012 team which made it to the AFFL finals. He came up short, losing to the Atomic Bomba that season, but despite the championship loss, it was the first time the Grabbers and playoffs were mentioned in the same sentence.

Then, two years later, Grabbers United had a season for the ages. With 9-4 record, and third overall finish, Grabbers' team set four records: Most points scored in a season, largest margin of victory, most 100+ point games, most 120+ point games. The title seemed to be all but his entering the playoffs. But the AFFL slogan is Survival of the Luckiest, and lady luck would not be at his side. The historic season would be cut short in the first round of the postseason, where Jaj Cousteau (eventual champ) defeated Grabbers by .2 points, the same margin he defeated Sassoon just two weeks prior in the regular season. Two .2 losses in a matter of three weeks to the same team. Unprecedented.

"I remember having 20 cents in my pocket that day, and I just stared at the two dimes for ten minutes without moving."

Demoralized and crushed, the league was anxious to see if the rise of Grabbers would continue in the '15 season. Many teams wrote him off, saying that his two year run was over. BDiddy manager Baret recalls having a conversation that went along those lines. Baret recalls:

"I was telling Tiggy to tell Mikey that I think that Grabbers is done, bro. 2nd place was nice, but it was a fluke. Mikey told Tiggy to tell me that he thought it was too. And tiggy did tell me, he did."

But Grabbers wasn't done. In 2015, Grabbers again finished with a 9-4 record and return to the AFFL Title game. His team was on fire, fueled by the .2 loss the year previous.

"Many teams have a second wind that's just a fart," said Sassoon. "But my ass was on fire."

Making it all the way to the title game, Grabbers had been only the third team to make back to the finals within a three year span. He went into the match-up with Hartan as an underdog, but had the league rooting for him. After putting up 160 points in the semi-final game, GU could only muster up 112 in the championship, and fell to the Hartan 131-112. Still, the team held their chin high. They had established themselves as relevant.

"A loss is never a win, unless it means something bigger. That loss let everyone know to watch their ass. The Grabbers pinch is within reach."

2:35 pm - Commissioner Lalazarian holds Haik's hand as he walks down the sidewalk, carefully guiding him across the street and over to the other side. The two boys follow. Earlier in the day the commish suggested they go grab ice-cream at 31 flavors down the street. Haig and the kids were so excited they ran and began showing the commissioner their different shoes. "These are the Kyrie shoes," yelled Haik excited. "I'm wearing these." Antranik dashed to his room and brought out the Kobe 3s. "These will make me run faster," he exclaimed and ran about the house.

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Antranik is the energetic leader of the three, with a fun, playful competitiveness. He is eager to do well and is full of energy. Nareg, the youngest, is no shy one either, having a wicked tenacity to match his older brothers. When it comes to wrestling, Nareg isn't about to let his two and half foot frame hold him back. Kid brings it. Haik is the more reserved of the brothers, politely not choosing to get into the competition. Still, he is a great kid that offers just as much warmth and kindness.

2:45pm- At the ice-cream counter, the kids race across the long window pane salivating at the many different flavors. Antranik and Haik each would have one scoop, while little Nareg decides to hell with his diet and goes for a double. With ice-cream dripping everywhere,  Sassoon smiles and whispers to the commissioner, "you know this year is my year, right?" It's a line that the commissioner has heard time and time again from every manager. But with a smile back he replies "It's everyone's year." The message is understood.

Entering the 2017 season, Grabbers has the option of keeping players from last season, with the best choices being Cam Newton ($17) Tevin Coleman ($13) or Spencer Ware ($9).  The value for those players aren't great, but they could be the building blocks for getting Grabbers back to the AFFL title game. No, Grabbers won't intimidate anyone with a history of winning the likes other AFFL managers can. His lifetime win percentage is still only 44%, and he has only made the playoffs 3 times during his 9 seasons in the league. But that's just the way Grabbers like's it. It's what his team brand is made of.

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"When you go to pinch someone from behind, its tougher to do it when they know you're coming. I don't want anyone to know I'm coming."

3:30pm - Returning to the house after ice-cream, Antranik challenges the commissioner to a game of soccer. The commish accepts, and the game ends with an Antranik goal and celebration. Sassoon looks on from the side smiling. Meanwhile, Nareg has managed to nab Lalazarian's phone and proceeds to take selfies of himself and the commish. He's not shy about a photo-op.

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7:40pm - After dinner (which was kid centered: Fillet o' fish sticks and salad) Sassoon takes the boys to the bathtub, where they disrobe and jump into the pool eagerly. While they splash and play about, Sassoon calmly washes them, applying just the right amount of soap to create the optimum bubble level.  Too little is no fun, too much and Sassoon loses them in the clouds. As he says, "it's an art form."

Sassoon hard at work getting the right amount of soap bubble level in the bath.

Once rinsed, they move their naked little bodies to the dresser drawers to put on their vardegs and comic book themed pjs. Haik goes for batman, while Nareg opts for Spiderman. Unable to get his socks on, he asks the Commisisoner for help. Lalazarian obliges.

830pm- Once the kids are dressed, The Commissioner says good-bye to the boys with one last few tosses in the air and thanks Sassoon for the hospitality. They exchange pleasantries and Lalazarian drives off to AFFL HQ. Sassoon slowly shuts the screen door.

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Returning to the couch to catch his breath, Sassoon plumps down in front of his laptop with the same tabs open. He will read the kids a bedtime story in a few minutes, then get back to research. It's his few moments of solitude left. All we have are moments, and Sassoon eagerly awaits his moment to come, where, like today, he can basque in the Sun.

Cubs. Trump. Vosgee: Vosgerechee Gyank wins AFFL Championship by .72 over HBK

In a nail-biting MNF finish, Vosgereechee Gyank (A Jewler's Life), aka Vosgee Gereech (the Golden Pen), held off HBK and Dan Bailey to claim the 2016 AFFL Championship title by .72 points. The Gyank took a 6.82 lead on HBK on a last second TD by Antonio Brown Sunday Night. HBK needed only a few touchdowns and a field goal from Bailey on MNF to win the championship. Bailey never got the chance for a field goal, as Dallas scored six touchdowns leaving HBK .82 points short and giving Gyank the win. After a stat correction early Thursday morning correcting the difference to .72,  the 2016 AFFL finals were officially the closest margin in history.

In a year that saw unlikely underdogs win in their respective fields, such as the Chicago Cubs and Donald trump, it's hard not to include Vosgee in the group of unlikely champions (he is a Chicago cubs fan).  In the 10 years the franchise has been in the league, this year marks only the second time the team had made the playoffs. Prior to this season, Vosgee had never won a playoff game. Ironically, the last time he was in the playoffs, he was ousted by HBK in 2008 in the first round.

Over the 2016 season Vosgee consistently found himself near the top of the Mazoon Division. The 9-4 regular season was no fluke, as the Vosgee did a nice job dealing with a bust in keeper Allen Robinson and a sub par year by Aaron Rodgers.

His championship was well earned, as he beat two #1 seeds in Prime Time and HBK to claim his title. This has only happened once before (Jaj 2014). His playoff inexperience almost cost him the victory when he dropped Allen Robinson during championship week allowing HBK to pick him up and use him for 20+ points.

Nobody thought he could last til the end, but he did. Props to Vosgee Gyank for all the good management that lead him to this point. We end the 2016 season with a tribute to the "Vosgee Gereech" (the Golden Pen) as he was once mistakenly called by the commissioner. The nickname stuck. Vosgeeeeee in the Champions Hoooooooooouse!

AFFL FINALS MNF: Dan Bailey decides who gets the AFFL title; Vosgee up 6.82, HBK has Bailey.

It all comes down to the leg of Dan Bailey on MNF for the 2016 AFFL title. If HBK gets 7 points from Bailey, he will be the AFFL champion. If not, Vosgee Gyank would have done the unthinkable and come out of nowhere to win his first title. Here is how the AFFL scores Kicker points.

• 17-39 yard FG:  3 pts
• 40-49 yrd FG: 4pts
• 50+ yrd FG: 5 pts
• Xtra point: 1 pt
• Missed xtra point: -1 pt